It has been a long time since I have posted anything on Carver's Heart Blog, but I wanted to add an update about our family. Since I posted last, we have continued to collect coloring books and other art supplies for Arkansas Children's Hospital. We start collecting these items all year, ( a majority come in during the Spring) and Jared, Corbin, Canyon, and I take these to Little Rock on Carver's Birthday. Canyon Bryce Cobb is the newest addition to our family. He is a beautiful boy with lots of spirit and spunk. He takes after his older brothers! We were blessed to welcome him into our family a year later on the same day that Carver went home to Heaven. I wanted to add to Carver's blog to spread the news about Carver's Coloring Crew, to show how Carver's life has touched so many hearts and opened these to a different way to help others, and to share the hope that Carver brought to us and inspired us to have Canyon. We miss you so Carver Lee. Thanks to you all for helping to collect for Carver's Coloring Crew. Heart Hugs!

A Little Bit of Heaven by Aunt Janet Lee Cobb

 The amazing story of Carver's life was beautifully written, painted, and published by one of my sweet sister-in-laws, Janet Cobb. It was given to me at Christmas, and is probably one of the best gifts ever given to me. I will treasure it always. The story was adapted from the poem our preacher Larry Culbreath wrote for Carver's memorial, "The Little Angel with a Broken Wing." These are just a few pictures from this cherished book. Thank you Janet for all your love, dedication, and devotion to OUR sweet baby Carver! I love you.

Carver's Chest of Earthly Treasures

About a month ago Jared, Corbin, and I went on a search for the perfect chest to keep Carver's treasures in. I had placed all his beautiful belongings in his room when we first got home in July. It just seemed like the right thing to do. Each one so precious with memories I retold myself and anyone who would listen. Eventually, I realized that an empty nursery was no place to keep these sweet mementos. Jared and I had always known we wanted to store Carver's keepsakes in a place where we could get to them, but also were each one had a place. We found this rust red antique chest with dove tail joints ( Jared knew the style), and we knew it was the one. It matched the house and fit Carver's rough but precious life. Since then I have added all kinds of sentimentals to the chest. Gifts from friends, blankets and quilts, pictures, a scrapbook, his baby book, hats, stuffed animals that were always at his side, his blue paci, and my favorite, the only shirt he wore. It actually wasn't a shirt but rather a hospital gown top that was ordered specifically for him and HLHS babies. A gift from my mother. I don't think she knew when she ordered these how representative it would be of Carver's strength. The gown is my favorite because it was the first and last shirt he ever wore. It is stained with blood, medicine, and other bodily fluids. I never washed it. I never washed anything when I brought is home. Each piece will remain as it was. You know how great it is to smell a baby just after a bath or smell their clothing that has had the fragrance of baby lotion on it? That is what Carver's smiley face gown is like to me. I can smell Carver all over it, and it just adds peace to my mind. God loved Carver so much he couldn't see him suffer any longer, so he took him away from all the hurt and pain to go help Him in Heaven! Carver may not be with us physically, but he is a daily reminder of God's love and hope for our future.

Award Winning Drawing

Carver's great grandfather, Papa Al Simpson, drew this pencil drawing of Carver and entered it in the Washington County Fair. Not only did he win first place in his division, but he also one Grand Champion! It was a very proud moment for him and our family. Al has created pencil drawings of all of his great grandchildren. This picture was actually a pretty difficult one to copy, but I believe he just keeps getting better and better. I know that just a few of us actually got to meet Carver, but this drawing truly does capture his spirit and strength. Just amazing Al! Thank you for sharing your talent with us.

Not Broken Just Torn Between Two Loves

    
        Yesterday my heart swelled with sorrow, pride, and happiness! The most beautiful celebration of life unfolded...Carver's memorial. I was smiling and crying the whole time. So blessed to be the Mommy of such a sweet angel. An overwhelming amount of family and friends came to show their love, support, and encouragement. The entire day was perfect thanks to everyone who came and helped.  I believe it was a day that started to heal our hearts. So many people wanted to just make our pain go away, and I love you for that. We all, not just Jared and I, had to give Carver up. A day filled with bountiful bundles of coloring books, hearts pouring out in encouragement and love, children singing, and a final gift to Carver with a release of blue and green balloons. This day will be a day I will reminisce about when I can't fight back the tears. That day will remind me to continue to spread hope and faith.
       Today our family planted a beautiful double blossom weeping cherry tree in honor of Carver. It was a surreal moment. My heart rejoices because Carver has touched so many people's lives in such a short time and has taught us all more about life, love, friendship, family, and most importantly GOD'S LOVE. We will miss him everyday. Carver has taught me to draw nearer to God, to give, to love, to enjoy every moment, and to try my absolute best to be a good Christian, so I can live with Carver in heaven. Thank you God for our "sweetheart" Carver.

Half of an Angel’s Heart

It's a beautiful day up in Heaven. Jesus is rounding up his tiniest angels, to go live on earth, and be born. One of the sweetest angels says to Jesus "I don’t want to leave, I like it here, and I will miss you." He reassures the scared little angel that everything will be okay, and that he is just going for a visit. He is still not swayed on this idea. So Jesus, kneels down, and  says, "How about if you leave half of your heart here with me and  take the other half with you, will that be okay?" The angel smiles  and says "I guess that will work.” But the little angel is still a little scared. He asks, "Will I be okay with only half of my heart?" Jesus replies, "Of course you will, I have other angels there that will help out, and you will be fine." Then Jesus gives the angel more details about his plan, he says, "When you are born, your Mommy and Daddy will be scared, so you have to be strong, and when you feel weak just remember that I have the  other half of your heart." "Enjoy your time with your family, play and laugh everyday." "And when its time to come back to Heaven, I will make your heart whole again." "Always remember, that you are not broken, just torn between two loves."

A Healed Heart in Heaven

Carver Lee Cobb

June 7^th, 2011- July 12^th, 2011

Our sweet, brave Carver Lee Cobb was born June 7^th, 2011 at 1:03 pm. He weighed 6 lbs. 2 oz. and was 18 inches long. With soft, pink skin, chubby cheeks, and peach fuzz, he was so beautiful. We all, family and friends, anticipated his arrival and prayed for courage and strength. It is amazing how even though Carver was only with us for a short period of time, he made a lasting impression on so many lives. Because of the precious gift God gave us our lives have changed forever. Through Carver, God has made us better family members, better friends, better parents, better Christians, and better people. Jared and I feel so blessed that God trusted us with His son Carver, and we loved him as much as possible. Now we will cherish those moments we had with him like the way his baby blues eyes sparkled, the way he would suck in his lip and pout out his chin, the incredibly tight grip he had saying please don’t leave yet, the way he amazed his nurses and doctors by sucking a paci even though he was so sick, or how proud Corbin was to be Carver’s big brother. Even though Carver had a condition called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome and was labeled as having half a heart, he had more heart and courage than anyone I know.  And he strengthened our hearts greatly. We wanted Carver to come home with us so badly, but we knew that his home was not with us. So we told Carver how much we loved him, how proud he made us, and then we told him to go home to Jesus. We will miss our son, but he will forever remain in our hearts and our memories. Thank you God for our gentle warrior, our fighter, our brave heart, our miracle, our angel…OUR baby Carver Lee.

                                                                                                 Heart Hugs and Hope

Corbin Cobb M.D.

Carver's day was a little hectic but all is good. His doctors were ready to try out the mini PD (peritoneal dialysis) and needed to clean out his chest today also. When they clean out a chest there is always the possibility of seeing what is called a bleeder. They did see one but were able to get a handle on it pretty quickly. Also, the mini PD seems to be working well, but we'll know more in the morning. Today Carver looked more like his sweet newborn size, and I could actually count his little fat rolls again. Precious! Corbin played doctor most of the day in the outfit his mimi bought him. Of course, he had to add the glasses and mustache to look more authentic. Gotta love this kid! He said he was ready to scrub in anytime his little bro needs him. Such wonderful love. Babies and children such precious gifts from God, and praises to God for all our gifts!