About a month ago Jared, Corbin, and I went on a search for the perfect chest to keep Carver's treasures in. I had placed all his beautiful belongings in his room when we first got home in July. It just seemed like the right thing to do. Each one so precious with memories I retold myself and anyone who would listen. Eventually, I realized that an empty nursery was no place to keep these sweet mementos. Jared and I had always known we wanted to store Carver's keepsakes in a place where we could get to them, but also were each one had a place. We found this rust red antique chest with dove tail joints ( Jared knew the style), and we knew it was the one. It matched the house and fit Carver's rough but precious life. Since then I have added all kinds of sentimentals to the chest. Gifts from friends, blankets and quilts, pictures, a scrapbook, his baby book, hats, stuffed animals that were always at his side, his blue paci, and my favorite, the only shirt he wore. It actually wasn't a shirt but rather a hospital gown top that was ordered specifically for him and HLHS babies. A gift from my mother. I don't think she knew when she ordered these how representative it would be of Carver's strength. The gown is my favorite because it was the first and last shirt he ever wore. It is stained with blood, medicine, and other bodily fluids. I never washed it. I never washed anything when I brought is home. Each piece will remain as it was. You know how great it is to smell a baby just after a bath or smell their clothing that has had the fragrance of baby lotion on it? That is what Carver's smiley face gown is like to me. I can smell Carver all over it, and it just adds peace to my mind. God loved Carver so much he couldn't see him suffer any longer, so he took him away from all the hurt and pain to go help Him in Heaven! Carver may not be with us physically, but he is a daily reminder of God's love and hope for our future.
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